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If politicians were literary characters, what characters would they be?

Thursday, May 12th, 2011

This week, during Prime Ministers Questions, the representatives of our nation continued to rummage through the shallow drawers of their popular culture knowledge to pull out a reference that, they hoped, the House would cheer, the public would relate to, and the press would report on. David Cameron’s attempt to be modern stretched as far as likening Ed Miliband to the 1980s ski-jumper Eddie ‘the Eagle’ Edwards. To which Miliband retorted by saying that David Cameron was Flashman, the notorious bully. Which is a much more educated insult, and judging by Cameron’s recent patronising behaviour in the House, not entirely unjustified. And it is an insult which has also had the highly productive consequence of prompting me to look at certain of our politicians afresh and ask, what literary characters do they most remind me of?

Nick Clegg
Nick Clegg, obviously, is Piglet. A little, quiet, inconsequential creature, forever trotting obligingly in Pooh’s shadow (Pooh, in this metaphor, being Cameron). And trot along he must, for we would all admit, if pressed, that although Piglet has his qualities, although he may have once deceived us into thinking he is quite a cute, interesting little chap with some quite sensible ideas of his own, at the end of the day, no matter how much he squeals to the contrary, there just wouldn’t be a Piglet without a Pooh.

George Osborne
Now, there is already a famous literary character called George Osborne – Vanity Fair’s upper-class, self-centred, disloyal rake, who gambles his way to ruin and dies at Waterloo. As much as one hopes our modern Georgie will soon meet his own Waterloo, and in spite of modern Georgie’s obvious parallels with Thackery’s upper-class, self-serving creation, I must confess that Mr modern Osborne actually puts me more in mind of Jane Austen’s villains, Mr Wickham and Mr William Elliott. The pampered young men intent on doing what is good for them, no matter the consequences for others. The sort of men who instinctively put you on your guard, who in spite of all their cultivated manners and well-bred charms are utterly, irredeemably untrustworthy. Of course, Scrooge and Fagin would also be good contenders for comparison.

Michael Howard
Dracula. No explanation necessary.

Ed Miliband
Eddie, I must confess, is giving me some trouble, and I will therefore throw this one open to you for ideas. Having listened to him give a speech at the recent anti-cuts march, he impressed me as someone who has the right ideas, or at least has the sense to say the right things, but lacks the charisma to express these things with conviction. He would therefore, in literature, be a mediocre also-ran; a character to flesh out the background, who on paper ought to do well but never seems to get anywhere… Any suggestions?

Georgina Phipps, Editorial Administrator

Lesley Says:


In the spirit of the Winnie the Pooh parallel I’d like to put forward another of my childhood heroes – Big Bird from Sesame Street. You certainly can’t miss him and who else could fill those clodhopping shoes / claws than the irrepressible Anne Widdecombe? She’s even borrowed some of the feathers in this pic here.

Posted on May 12th, 2011 at 1:59 pm

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